Last Day of School, always a bittersweet time

Here comes another school year to an end.

I am both happy and sad. Mostly sad.

Every year I go through this but this year seems to hurt me worse. I am happy that we can sleep in and there is not the huge grind of bedtimes, awake times, and having this and that paper signed.

I am happy we can spend the days relaxing and enjoying ourselves. It is neat to see the kids go to the creek to catch frogs, camp out in our backyard in the tent, and roast marshmellows by the fire. You see, my children are not ones you will see sitting on front of the computer for hours and playing video games. Their WI system has remained untouched for months now. We have fun going to the lake and they have fun flying out to their grandparents in shifts. The boys go this year June 5th-July 7th and the girls go from July 7th-August 10th. In two days, I will only have my three girls for a while.

It is a nice break but I do miss them. I am sad though for this year to end. The kids are getting one year older and thus drifting further away. Chad will be starting highschool, Alexa will be doing her last year in middle school, this will be Jeremy's last year of elementary school, and Maddie will be in third grade.

Chad starting highschool hurts the most. I remember when he started kindergarten,
the tears stinging my eyes in his classroom when I stood there with him watching him interact with other boys and seeing the teacher and knowing she will have my baby a large chunck of the day when I was used to having him with me. I got to the car and the flood gates bursted. Now is much the same.

Him and my 'other son' Nick (a wonderful young man that has been Chad's best friend since elementary school who I love as though I gave birth to him myself) came excitedly home with their highschool schedules. They have the same classes 1st through 6th hours and the same lunches. Uh-oh, lol! Later on that evening on the porch, I stood their talking to my two 'big boys'. I literally looked up at both of them. Then as though flashing back, I saw them both as two little boys once again. Where are those little boys who used to play with their action figures? Are those the same ones who used to order off the childrens menus while coloring with the crayons the restaraunts provided?

I look and before me stands no longer boys, but two young men. Oh yeah, they are going through that silly little phase alot of the teens go through. They both have the longer hair and they both wear the predominately black skate gear. Nick had on a shirt the said 'The Who' and both wore bandanas around their heads. I laughed a little as they looked like they just stepped out of 1969. I am sure in another 4 years, as graduation approaches, I will see the same young men, only a little taller and even more grown up as they will then be facing the adult world. My voice cracked a little and I said, 'I love you both, give me a hug.' On either side of me, my two big boys embraced their Mom.

No matter how difficult they can be, I want to treasure these times. I will miss the days when the house is silent. One day I will look across an empty yard where there once was the noise of my kids and their friends. Oh, I hope that is many years away. I want one more, maybe two to grow up along with Korinne and that will give me another generation of noise to enjoy. I love more than anything that ever has been given me, my children.

Lord, please hear my prayer and please keep another generation going.