Hope diminished a little more....

Good morning all....

Whats so good about it though? Today was supposed to be O day, nope. No such luck. I think I have pinpointed the reason why.

When I changed my diet, I changed the calories, big time. I remember back when I was in the thick of my past eating disorders, my cycles would go haywire then. I was not TTC then but I remember my periods being way off and the counselers saying that when your caloric intake is low, that really messes things up.

I guess I subconsciously got in the mode of 'omg, I look horrible, I have to stop eating'. I was starting to skip days of eating too. I took the vitamins thinking it would compensate, duh! I thought too because I could stand to lose weight, that would maintain me. I guess I have only myself to blame for this one.

Good going Wendy! You're out around $300.00 dollars for nothing. Lets tally it up;

Gas, $170.00
Food, $35.00
Oil Change $25.00
Hotel room, $65.00
Instead Cups, $10.00
OPK's $18.00
Emotional investment of another cycle of hope derailed,
PRICELESS!

For everything else, there is Mastercard!

I have also concluded during all of this that while I thought there was some 'connection' of sorts with Steve, I do have to find a donor closer. I learned too that getting any kind of 'attachment' to a donor is not a wise thing either. They are, after all, just donors. I am not saying that he was a bad man, it would just have been wiser for me to have just gone for the physical attributes I was looking for and kept it business. I should not really have looked too much into the person then it goes at a whole other level and then you get to where you do not give other donors a chance. I will try to find someone closer for the June cycle, and then in July, if June does not work, we will sink some money into the cryobank we used before. That way, I will get IUI vials, and put it right into the cervix and bypass the other stuff.

Thats it in a nutshell!