I'm leaving tonight to meet my donor

I am trying to wake up now and muster up some energy to get done the things I need to get done today before my trip.

Oil change is at 1130, but thankfully I do not have to do alot of packing for a 24 hour trip. Just a few odds and ends and I have to shop for the kids and babysitter....

Wow, this is something else. The other months I have tried with the sperm banks, there was nothing to it really. I never had to worry about making an impression, all that was there was a vial of sperm. No face to see, no emotion, just random body fluids from a man I will never know. Much like donating blood.

Tommorow, however, I will see the man who could be giving life to my next child. The past couple of weeks, I got to know alot about 'Steve'. Through hours of speaking on the phone, through many e-mails, I got to know and get quite fond of an amazing man. Is this what it is like for the surrogates? Does a part of you bond with your recipients? Its always been so clinical for me. It is so different this time.

I worry though.... Will we get along as well in person? In my nervousness, will I slip up and say something totally stupid?

I will do my best really, to make a good lasting impression so that he will know he is giving part of him to a good loving person. I also worry too, is my body going to be in balance and be able to make a baby? Did my new vitamins and diet change things thus changing my timing?

I have it timed BEFORE my peak. I am not expected to ovulate until Friday or Saturday, more likely Saturday if my cycle follows suit with the other cycles. Fresh, unlike frozen sperm can live up to 5 days. Will sperm and egg meet in some cosmic harmony and give life to a baby our family wants so bad? Or am I going to hurt once more?

So much to think about. Dear God, let it work, please.....

I will write when I get back Friday.