I feel like crap:(

I know, what a pleasant way to title this blog.

For starters, AF arrived yesterday. I know, I know, I didn't TTC using donor sperm this month but I guess I always hang onto hope that maybe we will get lucky and one month be surprised with concieiving on our own the old-fashioned way. No such luck.

I am hoping that this new cycle will enable this but money is tight as we are trying to get caught up from this summers setbacks with Korinne and some of the last festivals of the summer are this month and I don't want the kids to miss out.

I am feeling really down in particular this evening about myself. Starting in May, I was doing great with dieting and exercise and was really losing weight steadily and going down in size. Now, I look at myself and put on my clothes and am back to square one. After Korinne's relapses occured, I just have not seemed to have the strength and energy to go back to exercising, and combine that with the beastly hot weather and we have a recipe for a fat momma. I have also been doing emotional eating as well. I have really got to get back into shape. Well, enough of the rant there.

In other news, Korinne is doing great except for fighting a yeast infection which occured with the use of antibiotics:( Her Phen and Dilatin levels have stayed theraputic and she has managed to stay healthy with Maddie getting sick, and Chad as well. I should own stock in generic Lysol and antibacterial soap. She continues to warm my heart every day and every moment. I was starting to feel more at peace but sometimes I feel the fear and worry creeping back. I barely ever sleep still and check on her many times in the night. I lost my camera but when I find it, I plan to update this blog with pictures. She's so adorable I can't put it into mere words. Perhaps the sweetest most endearing thing is her smile. I love her little pearls! I don't go anywhere without people commenting on how precious and beautiful she is. Gosh, if only they really knew how right they are. Please continue to keep her in your prayers that she will continue to do well.

Thanks, maybe I can go get some sleep now.