Writers block

It seemed that it all used to just flow. I could write about anything going on in my life and it would somehow seem written in a way that maybe not made my life seem exciting, but worth reading about at the very least.

I will do my best but I guess I need to just look at this blog for what it is; Something for my children and their children to read about in the years that pass and when I am no longer on this earth.

It was a great first week back to school. I feel guilty for saying this, but I relish in the quiet and non-commotion during the day. It's nice to be able to relax with Korinne when I am home and not out and running errands and not intercept fights and have the kids trash the house. Sometimes I think these things and feel like such a bad mother for one day, they won't be here. For the older two, the time is fast approaching.

In other news, Korinne's ear infection has cleared up and her regular pediatrician is amazed at her quick recoveries without delays. I however, am always afraid of getting too comfortable with that thought. I don't believe in "jinxing" so much but I guess deep down I feel that the second I get too comfortable and think all will be well and she will have no problems but for the occasional breakthrough seizure, she will end up lagging way behind other children her age and this big mean evil ugly thing called fate (or Satan maybe?) will be there laughing and saying "Ha, ha, fooled you again. Your life WILL be complete hell till the day you die."

I do believe in God and giving over my troubles to him however, there is still a skeptic human side of me that worries. I do hate like hell when people say God has our lives mapped out and the day we die is already marked so worrying won't do any good. What's the point of praying for the sick is what I want to know if we're already marked? I also hate when people say I'm being "too bold" when I pray for my babies life. I feel that as a punishment for such insensitivity, they should have to spend time enduring what I have had to endure. Sorry, but that's my human side coming out. I will continue to pray every chance I get, that Korinne will heal and be here with me until my time is through.

It's only natural, right?